Equinox - A Twilight Based Sequel - Book Two
by kearsonistheone
Summary: With Bella's parents gone, and her mind unraveled, will she find her way back to her family, or stay broken? Can anyone help her? Follow the continuing story of Solstice in book two, Equinox.
1. Table of Contents

UNOFFICIAL SEQUEL

to

The Twilight Saga

Book Two

EQUINOX

Written by

Kearson Mary Albrecht

Based on The Twilight Saga

by Stephenie Meyer

CONTENTS

PREFACE

1\. WE ALL FALL DOWN

2\. EMPTY ECHO

3\. NO TURNING BACK

4\. UNWOVEN

5\. HOUSE OF CARDS

6\. SAYING GOODBYE

7\. STANDING GROUND

8\. BALANCE LOST

9\. EQUILIBRIUM

10\. HOMECOMING

11\. BURNED BRIDGES, MENDED FENCES

12\. ADMISSIONS

13\. SHADOWS

14\. SWEDEN

15\. AFRICA

16\. INDIA

17\. CANADA

18\. AUSTRALIA

19\. THE CLIFFS

20\. SECRETS & LIES

21\. SANDS OF TIME

22\. TURNING TIDE

23\. GATHERED

24\. OTHER SIDE OF THE PENDULUM

25\. EMERGENCY LANDING

26\. TAKEN

27\. FIRST CRY

28\. LAST BREATH

EPILOGUE: A CHANGE IN THE WIND

"All things change,

nothing is extinguished.

There is nothing in the whole world which is permanent.

Everything flows onward;

all things are brought into being with a changing nature; the ages themselves glide by in constant movement."

\- Ovid


	2. Preface

PREFACE

I had been told that vampires cannot change. When turned, we freeze as we are. Yes, the process can change us slightly in appearance and ability. But overall, and over time, we are frozen. This is why immortal children were forbidden to be made. Children turned could never mature, never grow, and their lack of mental maturity was exacerbated by their insatiable hunger. I had recently begun to wonder if I too had been turned too soon. Would this eternity be easier if I had had a few more years to learn and grow?

But it was too late for that now. Frozen at eighteen, I was held for all time madly in love with my husband, violently protective of the ones I loved, and now desperately struggling for the control that had come to me so easily since the day I came to this life. This is what I had wanted, this eternity, and here it was in all of its maddening glory.

They said that vampires cannot change, but I had to hope that they were wrong. Not just for me, but for everyone else as well. There had to be a way to bring back the light when the world had gone dim. If not, this would be an ugly journey for all.

As the pain tore through my body, I fell to my knees. I felt the hands gripping either side of my head, pulling. I could feel my neck tearing. All I could think in that moment was, "Edward, please go on without me."


	3. We All Fall Down

CHAPTER ONE

WE ALL FALL DOWN

We pulled into the driveway in the limo. Jacob and Renesmee were somewhere down the road behind us. I rushed into the house trying to find a safe place to think. Edward found me in the library, pacing, glancing out the wall of windows and then staring back at the ground. The humming in my head was unbearable. For a while now it had invaded my mind, making it hard to think straight.

This strange invasion made it almost impossible to control my shield. My shield would drop, slipping from the imaginary grip in my mind, leaving me exposed. After what happened in the cemetery, those awful women saying awful things, I was barely hanging on to it.

"Bella, I'm so sorry. He's in a better place now. He's no longer in pain." Edward said. I was pacing and agitated. When he tried to touch me, I pulled away. _What was he talking about?_ No longer in pain. Charlie. Talking about Charlie. _Wait, better place? What?_

"In a better place?! Are you serious right now, Edward? How is wherever he is better than being here with his family?" I demanded. I couldn't believe Edward couldn't see how ridiculous his statement was. _Why would he even say that right now?_

"You knew this was going to happen, Bella. Even without the cancer it would have happened someday." Edward said matter-of-factly.

I was floored by such a heartless response. It was like being slapped in the face. Why was he being so cruel? Couldn't he see I was hanging by a thread? "Yeah, some day, Edward!" I spat. "But I thought I would have more time! I should have had more time! First my mom, and now Charlie too? It's not fair! It's not fair!" I raged, slamming my fist down on the small console behind the sofa and shattering it. I didn't know how much longer I could keep going like this. The vibration in my mind was consuming everything.

"Bella, please…" Edward cooed, trying to soothe me, but it just infuriated me even more. How could he be so calm? I shook with the devastation and exhaustion of someone that has had almost their entire life ripped from them in a short period of time. And here he was, acting like I was a toddler having a tantrum in the grocery store!

I felt in my head the nauseating vibration like the one I had experience at the ceremony for Charlie's burial at the cemetery. I could picture the women a few rows over from me at the ceremony, staring at me, judging me.

After I had said my piece about Charlie and sat down, one of them said to the other, "Look at her. She's not even crying. Does she even care?"

"What a miserable excuse for a human being." the other had said.

A miserable excuse for a human being. Miserable excuse, yes. Human being, no. Not now, not ever again.

As our family rushed into the room from the noise of the crashing table, every ounce of pain from the last few months found its way into my chest, a deafening roar exploded from deep within me. Glass was shattering from every corner of the library. Even the windows fell victim to my vocalized agony. There were screams, and everyone tried to brace themselves from the glass.

In the following dead silence, Edward looked into my eyes and the terror on his face broke me. I would lose him too, and Renesmee, and everyone I loved. They would all leave me some day and I would be forced to walk alone with my immortality. This thing I just had to have, gave up everything for…in the end, it would be all I had left.

The roar that destroyed the glass in the room was nothing compared to what next came from my mind. The vibration that had unsettled me all day became a blinding reverberation like bass on a stereo turned up so high it would implode your eardrums and blur your vision. Only there was no sound, only force.

Edward fell to his knees in an instant. He grabbed his head and screamed. I was vaguely aware of Jasper collapsing as well with Alice going down right beside him. Jacob managed to grab Renesmee as she collapsed with her hands at her temples and an ear splitting scream. Whatever was going on with me was affecting them too. What was happening? I was hurting them! Killing them! _No! No! No! No!_

Edward struggled to glance up. My hands were gripping my hair in handfuls as if to tear it out. I looked around, wild with panic and fury. It was as if my shield was taking physical shape, lashing out at Edward and the others.

 _This can't be happening! This can't be happening!_ I raged on in my head.

I was struggling to bring my shield up. I was struggling to gain control of myself. And I was losing. The harder I struggled, the more I panicked when I could not succeed, and the more I lost my grip. I could feel my sanity slipping with every passing moment.

"Bella! Please! Let me help you!" Edward urged as Carlisle stood over him trying to determine the source of his pain. But I knew the source of Edward's pain: it was me. I was killing him. I was killing all of them, on the ground screaming in pain. I didn't know how or why it was happening, but I knew I had to leave. I had to get away from them before my shield tore them apart.

"Stay away from me!" I screamed as I bolted from the room.

"No!" Edward screamed as I ran through the forest as fast as I could to get away from him.

*******************CHAPTER END*************


	4. Empty Echo

CHAPTER TWO

EMPTY ECHO

As I ran, I could hear people scouring the woods trying to find me. I didn't know how long I could outrun them all. What had happened back there? How was my shield hurting people and why did it only seem to affect Edward, Jasper, Alice and Renesmee? I had no time for answers and it didn't really matter at the moment. I was dangerous and I needed to get away.

That's when I almost ran smack into Jacob in wolf form. I turned and bolted in a panic. He was hot on my tail, but if I could get to a populated area he'd have to stop chasing me. He would never let himself be seen by regular people while he was in wolf form, and he wouldn't dare run around naked in public just to phase into human form to yell at me. Would he?

Jacob caught up to me near Charlie's house in the trees before I could reach the house and he phased into human form. I should have known that Jake wouldn't let a little nudity stop him from trying to save me.

He was trying to talk to me and calm me down. Considering he was standing there stark naked, it was hard to focus when I was trying desperately not to look at him and to find an escape route. Jacob had me backed up against a rock wall. I couldn't let him keep me here and risk hurting Edward and Jasper again. I had to get away.

"Bella! Stop!" Jacob pleaded. "You don't have to run. It's okay."

"Go away, Jake!" I yelled, trying not to look at Jacob's naked form. "You don't know what's happening to me. You all need to stay away!"

"Bella, please, don't do this. Don't push us away. We can help you." Jacob insisted as he approached me.

I tried to run off, but I ended up against a rock wall. I was about to climb it when Jacob grabbed me around the waist. I broke his grip, then turned and shoved him. Jacob somersaulted to a standing position and I thought I could get away, but then Jacob's words halted my exit.

"If you leave, Edward will die." Jacob snarled.

I froze and Jacob continued.

"You and I both know that he can't live without you. He won't live without you. Think of what you are sentencing him to if you leave, Bella." Jacob begged. At first I thought Jacob was just using these words as a tactic to stop me, but he sounded really angry. I didn't know that he cared so much about Edward, or really at all, for that matter.

I turned to Jacob, my mind a boiling sea of rage and fear. "It's no worse than his sentence if I stay." I hissed. Couldn't he see what a mess I was? Hadn't he seen what I was doing to everyone back at the house? Why did he always have to be so damned persistent!

"And Renesmee? You would abandon her too?" Jacob said with disgust.

My eyes darted, seeing nothing as I tilted my head back and screamed. "Do you think I want this?"

I had to keep it together. Edward was coming. I knew it wouldn't be long until he got here. I had to do something, I had to get away.

Being faster than the others, Edward did get there first. I became frantic and backed into the wall and panicked. I lunged to push Jacob across the clearing into Edward. I hoped to stop them both long enough for me to at least get a head start before Jacob could phase and Edward could come tearing after me.

Edward was too far away to stop me in time. I thought I could get away without hurting anyone, but I was wrong. There would be no turning back from this.

*******************CHAPTER END*************


	5. No Turning Back

CHAPTER THREE

NO TURNING BACK

My head was reeling. The scent of blood was crashing over me like ocean waves in a relentless storm. My arm was wet to the elbow. Blood. _Whose blood? What's happening? What have I done? Jacob. Jacob! Oh God…_

No. Not Jacob. Sam. Sam had come down from the top of the wall behind me and tackled me as I reached Jacob. Not understanding what was happening, I had grabbed desperately. I had put my hand through Sam's chest, and pulled out his heart. He lay on the ground, in human form, lifeless. I stood over him with his heart in my hand. The heart of the man that once carried me from these woods after Edward left me there alone. That seemed like so long ago.

 _Not alone now._ I looked up.

"No!" Jacob screamed, trying to run for Sam. Edward managed to grab him and held him back, but only just barely. _Yes, stay away. Dangerous._

Renesmee and Seth burst through the trees as Jacob struggled in Edward's grip and then folded to the ground in tears. Seth collapsed, howling at the sight of Sam on the ground. Renesmee slipped from his back and stumbled forward a few steps before whispering, "Mom! No!"

Before I could answer, the rest of our family and the packs arrived and stopped dead at the scene, trying to process the visual.

This was it. This was the moment I had feared, the moment I had tried to prevent. Looking at all of their faces, I could see I had lost them all. In one fleeting moment of lost sanity I had laid waste to my entire eternity of happiness and love.

Leah made a move for me, but Seth recovered himself enough to stand in her way. She growled at him, but he stood his ground and growled back. Jacob pushed Edward away as he turned toward Leah, phased, and took a place next to Seth, blocking the advance toward me.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. _Drop the heart. Run. Don't stop._

As I ran, I heard Renesmee yell "Stop!"

But I couldn't stop. I had to get away before I hurt someone else.

 _Must hide._ I ran toward the coast where the woods were thicker and the land drops off into the ocean. I ran so hard I thought the ground would catch fire beneath me. As I approached the cliff, I couldn't help but think back to the last time I had dove off of here.

Years ago, when I was still human, Edward had left me, to protect me, but I could not live without him. My mind had been so broken by the loss that I hallucinated his image any time I was in a dangerous situation. But just like any drug. I needed more intense situations every time to bring him into view, to get that high. It eventually led me to jump off of this very cliff.

 _What am I doing?_ I thought to myself. I stopped just short of the edge and stood there motionless trying to untangle the cacophony of the brutally vivid vision of pulling out Sam's heart and faded human memories of loss and devastation.

A noise behind me brought me back to reality and I turned to face its source. I expected Edward to be standing there, or possibly one of the wolf pack members, but instead there stood four women. Three of them I had never seen before, but the fourth, she looked very familiar.

*******************CHAPTER END*************


	6. Unwoven

CHAPTER FOUR

UNWOVEN

I recognized the woman in front after a double take. It was Dr. Peruro! Her hair fell to her waist in frantic waves. I had only ever seen it in the large bun atop her head during my office visits. The color had always been hard to discern when Edward and I had gone to her house for sessions. But here, at the edge of everything, the sun setting behind me, her hair was not blond and not black, but many shades of brown and red with traces of white and silver glistening in the setting sun.

Her clothes were different too. In our sessions she had always worn frumpy skirts, high neck shirts, and baggy sweaters. But now she stood in front of me in laced, brown knee high boots, dark leggings, a rag skirt and a thick leather belt hung from her hips. She wore a black long sleeve Henley with a burnt orange, cloth, form fitting vest over it. An amber necklace hung from her neck and it blazed like fire in the light of the setting sun.

On her round face was the familiar smile with slightly crooked teeth, only now that smile held no joy. Her eyes seemed to be blue or green with flecks of yellow. Or maybe hazel. It was hard to tell because with the tilt of her head, she seemed to have a layer of the lightest purple as well. How could that be? How had I never noticed that?

It suddenly occurred to me that not only did I not recognize the three women behind her; I also didn't really know who Dr. Peruro was either. Carlisle had recommended her, but only because she had been recommended by other physicians that Carlisle trusted in a medical capacity. This woman had obviously wormed her way into our lives.

"Who are you?" I demanded. I felt silly asking it, but my mind was a whirlwind and I couldn't pin down a stable thought long enough to analyze it.

"Your blood." Dr. Peruro smirked.

What a peculiar response. Was she offering herself to me? No, of course not. She didn't know I was a vampire, did she? She must mean she was related to me by blood, but that couldn't be either, could it? "I have only one blood relative left and it surely isn't you." I told her before I could stop myself.

The woman laughed at the surprise on my face at my own admission. "Don't worry, Bella. It's no big reveal. I know that Renesmee is your daughter by birth. But how little you seem to know, am I right? Your Gran would be so disappointed to see you now. Fallen so far from grace. First, choosing to be a vampire, then birthing an abomination, but now? A killer of the innocent to boot? What a tragedy."

"What do you know about my grandmother?" I whispered. I had never mentioned Gran during our sessions. I don't think Edward would have either, but I couldn't be sure. I hated to think that she was probably right. Gran would be disappointed. So would my mom. And my dad. I could feel that disappointment crushing me inside.

"I know a great deal more than you, I'd wager. Much more." She taunted. I wanted to run, but they were blocking my path into the trees. I was pretty sure I could dodge them, but the water might be a better option. This lot didn't strike me as the type for cliff diving.

"You are having trouble with your shield, aren't you?" she said. All thoughts of escape left me as her question cut through the chaos in my mind and struck me to my core. I stood slack-jawed at her accusation. "I thought so." She laughed.

I walked toward her to shut her up and the others stepped forward behind her. "I'd be careful if I were you, Swan."

Why would she call me Swan? She knew I was married and went by Cullen. What was she playing at? "Who are you?" I demanded again.

"My name is Ashland Peruro. As much fun as it has been having you call me doctor, you can call me Ashe. This is Daedra, T'sikati, and Anail."

T'sikati. I had heard that word before. It was a Quileute word. It means land or nature spirit. This woman, who stood inches taller than me in her bare feet, looked like she could be Quileute with her brown skin, black hair and sharp facial features. But her eyes, they were exactly like Ashe's. I had never seen a Quileute with eyes like that.

She wore sandals, but they were barely anything; a sole with a string that wrapped around her foot and up her leg. She wore capri pants that looked to be suede, her belt was thinner than Ashe's but looked to be cut from the same leather and it had pouches hanging from it in various shapes, sizes, and colors. She wore only a suede vest with no sleeves. Around her neck was a necklace of black and green turquoise.

And Anail, that sounded familiar too. It was Irish for breath. This woman was barely shorter than me, but her skin was pale as snow, and her hair was a beautiful light strawberry blond made more intense by the setting sun. At first I thought her eyes were hazel, but a closer look showed that they were the same as the other women. She was dressed in a flowing white dress of gauze. She had a delicate leather belt around her hips and her necklace was made of white turquoise and silver.

Last was Daedra. My mind could not place that name. I wanted to think 'sorrow' or 'broken-hearted', but those didn't seem exactly right. As a vampire, there was no such thing as sleeping, so reading and learning became imperative past times.

But I had never seen anything like this woman. She was head and shoulders taller than the rest. Her skin was black as night, with features long and thin like a carved statue. Her waist length, silver hair was loosely gathered at the nape of her neck and flowed down her back. The color of her large, almond eyes mirrored that of all of the other women; a stark contrast to her dark skin.

She wore a suede vest and a gauze skirt, both a dark, dusty blue. Like T'sikati, she had on the barest excuse for sandals. Her necklace was a deep blue turquoise. She was graceful and imposing. I could not figure out why she was not leading this group instead of Ashe.

"What are you doing here? What do you want?" I pressed.

"We want to help you, Swan…little Bella Swan…" Why was Ashe so obsessed with my maiden name? She suddenly struck me as slightly insane, or highly unstable at the very least. How had I never noticed this? I had spent hours pouring my heart out to this woman and now, for the life of me, I could not fathom why.

"Well, I don't need any help." I told her, as I turned and leapt from the cliff.

*******************CHAPTER END*************


	7. House of Cards

CHAPTER FIVE

HOUSE OF CARDS

"Don't let her hit the water!" I heard Ashe yell as I plummeted toward the crashing waves. Just before I pierced the surface of the water, I felt myself hit an invisible wall. It pushed me up, higher and higher, until I flew through the air and back up to the ledge where I fell in a heap. I stood, and my arms were then bound to my sides by some unseen force. I could not move.

"You know, in my day, back in Heraclea Minoa, someone rude enough to refuse help would be punished." Ashe said.

Heraclea Minoa? My mind tossed through the tumultuous waves of information and thought trying to place the name. What game was she playing?

"Ashe, we are not here for that." Daedra said in the most dulcet tone I had ever heard.

"Too true, Sister, too true." Ashe admitted, looking me over. "You have much to learn, child." she said to me sternly. "We should not waste anymore time. We know a great deal about you and your situation. We can help."

"I'm not going anywhere with you!" I hissed. "There is nothing you can tell me, nothing you can teach me that can undo what I have done! I killed someone! I killed the leader of one of the Quileute wolf packs. A friend that meant a great deal to me and so many others. I have alienated an entire race of people. Not to mention the pain I caused my husband and daughter by going off my rocker and leaving.

I abandoned them. There will never be anything in this world that can take that back and make us whole again, Ashe! Nothing! So you can sit there all high and mighty with whatever knowledge you think you have, but unless you've got a time machine in your bag of tricks, I'm done with this! It's over." I yelled, struggling against my invisible bindings.

Ashe rolled her eyes at my outburst and sighed. "This is why people shouldn't be turned as teenagers." she said under her breath. She stepped forward and slapped me hard across the face. Much to my surprise, it actually hurt. "Get a grip, Bella. No one likes a whiner." she said, and then she disappeared.

The other women were gone as well. And I was no longer held where I stood. What just happened? Had I imagined the whole thing? Was I truly losing my mind? I sank to the ground and screamed.

A hand on my shoulder brought me back to reality. I jerked away and then stood, looking up into Daedra's dark face. I hissed at her, but she didn't flinch. She looked at me with the kindest eyes. "Please forgive Ashe. She has little patience, and even less bedside manner when she is irritated, I'm afraid. Please, Bella, we truly can help you."

With my binding gone, I looked around for an escape route. Daedra, sensing my intent, said to Ashe, "Ashe, will you please calm her before she runs off again."

Ashe appeared, rolled her eyes and sighed. The others appeared behind her as she came forward. She picked up a rock from the ground and suddenly her palms were white hot flames. As fast as they had come, the flames were gone. T'sikati held out a length of leather tie and Ashe deftly wound it around the stone, making the charred black rock into a necklace. She stepped toward me, and when I stepped back, I felt the air return to hold me in place. Ashe slipped the rock around my neck

At first I felt nothing but the warmth from the stone, but then there was a sensation in my chest similar to how it feels when you plunge your toes into the warm sand on the beach. It started underneath the stone resting against my chest and spread through me. I felt everything boiling inside of me start to sway. No longer thrashing in chaos, my pain began to ebb and flow. It wasn't perfect, but it was better. I could think straight, just barely.

"Who are you?" I begged.

"You're welcome." Ashe muttered, crossing her arms in a huff.

Daedra answered. "There is no simple answer that I can give you that will satisfy that question, Bella. You just have to trust us. We can help." she said as she held out her hand. I felt the invisible restraints leave.

What choice did I have? I couldn't go home. My only other choice was to wander, and in my state there was no telling what I was capable of doing. I took her hand, and glanced the others; Ashe with her arms crossed, T'sikati with an angry scowl, and Anail with what seemed to be a perpetual face of worry.

"How did you do that?" I asked, referring to the appearing and disappearing.

"We have shields too." Daedra said. "Only ours are much more powerful and practiced."

"Can you show me how to do that?" I asked with wonder.

"First things first, Bella, we need to get you back in control of your shield. But be warned, it will not be easy." Daedra said.

"I don't care. I'll do anything." I swore. Ashe snorted at my oath, but I ignored her.

"Then let us begin." Daedra said. She took my hand and lead me into the trees.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"We have a camp not far from here near the river." Daedra said.

I stopped abruptly and she turned to me with a tilt of her eyebrow. I could hear Ashe behind me, huffing at the pause in our progress.

"That's too close." I whispered, the discord in my mind shifting violently like a vase full of water about to go off the end of a table. "They'll find us."

Ashe laughed behind me and said, "No one is going to find us, Bella." And with that she walked past me with T'sikati and Anail behind her. I looked to Daedra and she nodded, so I followed.

We walked through the woods that had become so familiar to me over the last few years during my many hunts. Where could these women possibly have a camp that I have never come across it?

We walked through the overbearing green of the dense trees until we came to a small clearing. There were four distinct areas in the clearing with various personal effects, but there were no tents, not even any beds. A makeshift fire pit lay off to one side of the encampment. It was an odd place. Even though there were things here, it had a haunting sense of abandonment.

"Can you at least give me some idea of who you people are? Preferably not her." I said nodding toward Ashe. "I've heard more than enough from her."

Ashe looked as if she was going to haul off and punch me straight in the face, but Daedra made an exhalation of breath, and Ashe froze. She scowled and then nodded to Daedra. "Don't get used to that." Ashe muttered as Daedra began. I wasn't sure if she was speaking to me or Daedra.

"We are The Four, guardians of The First and keepers of the lines." Daedra said, as if that was supposed to explain everything.

I had a feeling that a request for a more detailed explanation would be ignored at this point. After all, I still had no idea how we could be so close to my family out here in these woods and these women think that they would not find us. So instead I asked "Why have I never heard of you?"

"Marketing just isn't what it used to be." Ashe said flatly. She was obviously trying to make a joke, but if she was waiting for me to laugh, that wasn't going to happen. Perhaps she thought her feeble attempt at sarcasm would hurt my feelings. She would have to do much better than that.

"We've survived this long by not advertising ourselves, Bella." Daedra offered.

"How long have you…survived?" I asked.

"What is it now, Dae? Seven? Eight?" Ashe asked Daedra without turning, keeping her eyes locked on me.

"Just over eight now." Daedra confirmed.

"Eight hundred years?" I asked. That wasn't very old at all. Most of the Volturi were more than three times that age.

"No, dear, eight thousand." Daedra clarified. A smug grin grew across Ashe's face at the sight of my shocked expression.

"That can't be. That would make you older than…" Older than a lot of things, I realized.

"Older than vampires, yes. And older than werewolves, shape shifters, and witches." Ashe said with a mischievous grin. How could these women be eight thousand years old? They looked so…fresh, was the only word that came to mind. The Volturi had been alive over three thousand years, and their eyes and skin showed their advanced age. Their skin was translucent like onions and their eyes had a slight milky film to them. But these women looked nothing like that. Then something occurred to me.

"Wait, you know when they all began? Like the very first of all of those beings?" I whispered.

"Yes. We were there when they were made." Ashe said casually, as if she were talking about having gone to the store or how bored she was waiting in line at the bank.

"Wait, and witches? I'm confused. Aren't you witches?" I said as I looked around at them. I felt even more lost now than before. If these women weren't witches, then what were they?

"No, we are not witches. Well, I guess that depends on how you define witches." Anail mumbled.

"You will learn everything you need to know in time. Right now, we need to cover some ground rules, and I know you are out of sorts, but you need to listen closely because I despise having to repeat myself." Ashe warned.

I nodded. "Fine, I'm listening."

"Good." Ashe said. "Rule number one: although it will be tempting, you are not to attempt to use your shield without one of us present and assisting. You are unstable and missteps right now could be…untoward."

I didn't need any further clarification on that one. I had seen what my shield was capable of and I had no desire to play with that without help. I nodded.

"Number two: this should go without saying, but just in case, you are not to contact your family in any way. Until you have regained control of your shield, it is too dangerous for you to be around them."

I couldn't argue with that one either. I nodded, wondering how many more rules there would be.

"Number three: you are not to leave this immediate area without an escort. This area is protected so that no one can see us and anyone that wanders close feels an inexplicable need to go the other way. You will be unprotected outside of this boundary without one of us, so don't do it."

"Unprotected? What do I need protection from?" I asked.

Ashe sneered, but did not answer my question as she continued.

"Rule number four." she said as she stepped closer to me. Her eyes were locked on mine and I realized I could not look away. I felt what I thought at first was the blooming of panic in my chest, but then it began to burn in waves, thumping, almost like a pulse. Ashe stepped so close that I could feel her cool breath on my face.

"You will do as we say, without complaint, and you will not give us any problems." She grabbed the amulet around my neck, her hand covering it completely, and with that, the pandemonium roared through my mind. The ebb and flow of my pain was replaced by the storm of white hot pain vibrating in my head. I heard Ashe's voice above the cacophony. "Do you understand?"

I gave a single nod, all I could manage, and Ashe released the amulet. All at once the melee in my mind was gone, replaced by the ebb and flow again.

Ashe smiled again that self-satisfied, joyless smile. The smile faded as her eyes unfocused and she stood very still as if she were seeing something only she could see. She blinked, then said to Daedra, "I must go. Deal with her until I return." Then she promptly walked off into the trees.

"Where is she going?" I asked Daedra.

"I have found that, with Ashe, sometimes it's best not to ask too many questions." she said with an odd smile, as if there was some inside joke which I was not allowed to know.

I looked around and noticed that T'sikati was no longer with us either. As if she had read my mind, Daedra said, "T'sikati spends much of her time alone with nature. She's not really a people person, I believe is what you would say."

"Daedra, how is that you all have lived for eight thousand years? How is that possible? The things you must have seen in that time…" just thinking about it filled me with wonder.

"It's not like you think." Daedra said. "Most of the epic moments in history you know about, we were not present for, meaning we were in other parts of the world when they allegedly happened. I can't tell you if certain wars really happened, and no, I don't know if certain religious figures really existed. That's everyone's favorite question when they find out how old we are. We weren't there for any of that."

I couldn't help feeling a little disappointed. "Is there anything you can tell me about the past?"

Daedra explained. "I can tell you about our past. In the beginning, there were only humans. Then there was born 'The First', so called because she was the first of her kind. She could do things no other human being could do. She could read minds, control the elements, see the future: her talents were limitless. We four were drawn to her from the ends of the Earth, and we served her, protected her, in many ways. After a time she realized that her powers would be sought after for foul deeds and she split herself among us and commanded us to prevent the union of our essences."

"That sounds relatively straight forward." I said with suspicion.

"Well, of course there is a great deal more to it than that, but it will do for now." she said. "Our necklaces were given to us by The First. Well, they were just stones in the beginning. T'sikati made them into necklaces once such skills were discovered. They represent our elements and, by extension, the entities represented by those elements." Daedra explained.

"Do you know how many of each type of beings exist?" I asked.

"We don't know exact numbers. We only have a faint idea of which groups are larger than others." Daedra said. "But we do know that there are more witches than vampires, pure human beings, shape shifters, and werewolves combined."

"Yes, technically that is true." Anail confirmed as she overheard the topic on her way to the fire pit. She stopped and said, "When countries run a census they end up counting everyone as human, so the numbers you think of when you think of populations in the world actually include these other beings, plus consider all of the other ones that are in hiding. However, most people have such a diluted concentration of witch blood that they are almost purely human and never manifest any kind of powers. There are fewer pure humans on this planet than you would imagine." Anail said with more than a hint of sadness as she walked off to tend the fire.

For some reason, it pained me to see that sadness on her face, so I tried to change the subject.

"So how do you determine who is in charge?" I whispered to Daedra.

Daedra smiled. She seemed amused by my question. I thought she would not answer, but then she said simply, "By our hair."

By their hair? Seriously? What kind of leadership selection criteria is that? "Really? That seems fairly arbitrary." I mused.

"Not really. Hair is an extension of your nervous system, so it would make sense that to have more of it would allow for greater perception of your environment. Ashe is the strongest of us; hence she has the longest hair." Daedra said.

"But yours looks just as long as hers." I replied.

"It's not, I assure you." Daedra said. When she saw my look of doubt she whispered in a conspiratory tone, "It's those crazy waves. They are very misleading."

I smiled and she continued "But despite Ashe's brash attitude, she does defer to me on many things. We have a mutual respect. I may not be as powerful as she, but I represent beings similar to our kind and that carries weight. T'sikati is next strongest, but as you can see, the difference in length is noticeable between her and Ashe and me." Daedra was right. While her hair and Ashe's fell to their waists, T'sikati's hair fell just below her shoulder blades.

I glanced over at Anail. Her hair seemed to be cut at a very abrupt angle with one side barely touching her shoulder and the other side falling to the middle of her shoulder blade. "Anail's hair is relatively short, isn't it?"

Daedra was quiet and seemed to be looking somewhere far off. "Yes, her hair is short. There is a reason for that, but it is not my story to tell."

I could tell from her tone and body language that there would be no more talk on the subject, and since Daedra was the only one of them to really show me any consideration, I didn't want to fall out of her good graces. "So can you control your elements?" I asked, genuinely curious of the answer.

"To a degree. Nothing like the First could manage, but we have some influence. We can call, but we cannot truly control or create. I, for instance, can call up water from the ground, or manipulate a body of water. But I cannot make rain fall from a cloudless sky." Daedra explained.

Something occurred to me just then. "The day we buried my dad, clouds and rain came from out of nowhere. Alice had seen in the future that the day would be sunny. She's never wrong about weather. But if you can control it, and you decided to change it after she had her vision, she wouldn't have seen you do it. You made it rain that day, didn't, you?" I asked.

"It was actually Anail and I that did that. I can only call rain from the sky if the clouds are already there. I needed Anail to manipulate the wind to bring in the clouds."

"Thank you. I appreciate the effort." I said with genuine thankfulness.

Daedra nodded. "As for Alice, she cannot see anything having to do with us, The Four. Our shields are so strong that we cannot be touched by such powers that others possess. And if we shield another, they have the same protection. So Alice cannot see us, Jasper cannot affect us, Edward cannot read us, so on and so forth."

"You know about them?" I whispered.

"Of course we do. Our whole existence has been managing our charges, and if you haven't figured it out yet, vampires that have powers are a form of hybrid, Bella. If someone with witch blood is turned to a vampire, they manifest their power, if it hasn't already been noticeable." Daedra explained.

That would explain why some vampires had powers after the change and some didn't. That also meant that Alice and Jasper had been witches before being turned, Edward too. And me, I had been a witch before I was turned. Even knowing Gran had claimed to be a witch, it never occurred to me that I might be one without even trying or wanting to be.

"But if there are more witches than pure humans, why aren't there more vampires with powers?" I asked.

"Not everyone has enough witch blood to manifest a power. Most have just enough to not be pure humans." Daedra said.

"So what happens if a vampire changes a shape shifter or werewolf?" I asked.

"Wouldn't happen." Daedra insisted, shaking her head. "A vampire's instincts keep them from biting such creatures. Would you bite into something that smelled like a rotting dumpster?" Daedra asked.

"If that rotting dumpster was trying to kill me, it might cross my mind." I said.

Daedra chuckled before continuing. "Fair enough, but the genetics of the shape shifters and the werewolves do not allow them to be turned even if they were bitten. They would either heal, if the venom is removed in time, or die, like a human from a snake bite. A built in defense against the mixing of the lines." Daedra said. "There are two different considerations in the creation of beings: biting and mating. As I'm sure you know, humans, shape shifters, werewolves, and witches can and do mate with little issue. And as I know you are also aware, male vampires can mate with female humans and witches."

"What about vampires mating with shape shifters or werewolves?" I asked.

Daedra's face became dark. "It has never been an issue. Vampires and both forms of T'sikati's charges are natural enemies. The trouble truly begins when hybrids are entered into the equation."

"Like my daughter." I said.

"Bella, you must understand, the mixing of the lines would have catastrophic results. We have spent near eight thousand years preventing this from occurring, and now here we are on the eve of having all of that work for naught." Daedra pleaded.

"She is selfish. She does not care." came T'sikati's voice in the distance. She strolled into the clearing, her eyes focused on me as if she expected me to attack her at any moment. I realized that her body language wasn't one of ease, but of something else completely. Her movements reminded me of the way Jacob would stalk prey when he was in wolf form.

Daedra noticed this immediately. "Sister." she said in her dulcet tone as T'sikati came closer, her lip peeled back from her teeth as her expression darkened and her panting breaths stopped as she was about to pounce.

"Enough." Daedra said. The finality of the statement seemed to break T'sikati's trance-like focus on me. "Bella, will you stay with Anail, please? I need to speak with T'sikati."

I nodded, but Daedra was not looking at me as she walked past T'sikati toward the trees. T'sikati took one last look at me and snarled before following Daedra out of sight.

"She hates me." I said to no one in particular as I walked over to where Anail sat by the fire she had started in the pit.

"She does." Anail said in a matter of fact tone. "But in fairness, she dislikes most people."

"So I've heard." I said. I looked at Anail and then asked, "And you? How do you feel?"

She tilted her head at my question and seemed to be giving her answer serious thought. I wasn't sure if she would ever answer, but then she stood and walked toward me. It took an immense amount of control I didn't fully possess to try not to run as she approached me. I managed to only take two steps backward before she closed the gap between us and scrutinized me with those unsettling eyes that all four women possessed.

"I feel like you don't truly understand the seriousness of this situation. I feel that you are not ready for what lies ahead. But mostly, I feel like you are going to break in all of the wrong ways and put all of us in danger." she said.

I didn't know what to say to all of that. I said the only thing I could think of. "I'm sorry." I whispered.

"Not sorry enough." she said with a hint of what sounded like regret. "But you will be, before the end."

And with that she turned away to go back to her work.

"What happened to you?" I asked before I knew what I was saying.

Anail's movement halted abruptly, then she turned to me and said, "You cannot even comprehend."

"Maybe not, but I want to try. Please. Daedra wouldn't tell me. She said it wasn't her story to tell. Please help me understand." I begged.

Anail took a deep breath and then sat on the ground. She looked at me and then to a spot across from her, so I sat.

"I represent air, and by extension, human beings. It has not been an easy charge." Anail said. "The others don't understand. Their populations grow and shrink slowly. Barely noticeable. Humans? So many of them are born and die every day. It is a constant seesaw of birth and death. And things like natural disasters, or human atrocities? The feeling of many lives lost at one time is an agony I would wish on no one. Sometimes I feel as if I might lose my mind with it." she admitted.

"When we were first created, The Four, I was the most powerful of us all. The First wanted me to protect humanity. It is why she rendered herself in the first place, to keep her power out of the hands that would use it to enslave the world. But what she didn't see, and what I have come to learn over these many years, was that humanity doesn't need an outside force to destroy it.

Long ago, during a great war, I tried to stop a massacre. I had experienced the pain of subtle losses of human life up until that point, and this war threatened to be one of great pain and devastation.

I had not had time to master my powers. I was inexperienced. I tried to pull down the wind, trap people in air to keep them from hurting each other, but no matter what I did, they wouldn't stop. There were too many of them for me to stop them all. I was there to protect them, but when they discovered me during the fight, they turned on me.

They managed to grab me. There were so many. Men were fighting all around me, and some of them decided they'd prefer another more brutal pursuit." she said under her breath, her face quite plainly revealing her remembrance of the events she described.

"They tore at my clothes. One of them said my hair was in the way. Another took his sword and as he cut it, but before they could complete their vile intentions, I pulled wind into all of their lungs until they exploded in their chests. Hundreds of human beings, dead all at once by my hand. I've never felt such pain. My power had been severed by my own charges, and I killed that which I was supposed to protect. I paid for it. Dearly." She said, her eyes wide and unfocused.

It pained me to see her stuck in that image in her head. "Can't it grow back? Your hair?" I asked, trying to pull her out of the memory.

"It has grown back some in the last several thousand years, but you see, that day I lost a piece of my purpose. Why would I want to protect something that would do such things? For a long time, my hair stayed as it was. I could not move forward. Over time I was able to find the beauty in the world again. It gave me something to fight for."

I wished I knew what beauty she had found that brought her back from something so terrible. I had killed Sam, and the weight of that was its own special hell. I could not imagine killing hundreds of people all at once, even in self-defense. It seemed like such an insurmountable tragedy.

Daedra returned to the clearing without T'sikati.

"Is she going to be okay?" I asked.

Daedra paused, seemingly shocked that I would have asked, but then nodded and said, "It is hard for her when the Quileutes and the werewolves die. She is deeply connected to them, sometimes I think even more than the rest of us are connected to our own charges. When they pass, it affects her deeply."

Yet another person to add to the list of people I have hurt by killing Sam. That's when something occurred to me.

"Daedra, I need to ask a favor of you." I whispered.

"You aren't in a position to be asking for favors, Bella." Daedra admonished.

"Look, I know, but please hear me out. I know Sam's funeral is going to be held in three days, and I really want to be there." I said.

"If you go there, the pack will tear you to shreds. In front of your daughter, I would assume." she said.

"You are probably right. But if I was hidden, then we could avoid all of that." I said.

"You want me to hide you so that you can attend the funeral of the shape shifter you killed?" Daedra asked.

"I know it sounds like it doesn't make sense, but he was my friend. Please. I need to be there to say goodbye." I said, feeling my sorrow and anxiousness build inside me.

Daedra looked off into the distance, seemingly deep in thought. "Ashe would be very unhappy. T'sikati as well."

"I know I am asking for a lot, Daedra. Please. Is there any way I can convince you?"

"This is not a decision I can make alone, Bella. If this is truly what you want, then we must consult the others." Daedra said. "We will wait for Ashe and T'sikati to return."

The sun was already mostly gone from the sky. Where had this day gone? I sat and watched Daedra and Anail prepare food. Eventually T'sikati returned once night fell completely. She grabbed a heaping plate of the meal being served and went to her area of the clearing. I sat and watched them eat, realizing how long it had been since I had hunted. I should be ravenous, mad with hunger. I felt nothing but the ebb and flow of the muted turmoil flowing in my mind.

It was well into the next day by the time Ashe returned. She ignored the lunch that Anail had prepared as she came into camp. She walked over to me, glaring down at me.

"You have caused a great deal of pain today. It is a hefty price to be paid, Bella. You have no idea." came her vehement whisper.

I couldn't look away from her, but I said nothing. There was nothing I could say. She was right. Every word she spoke was true, even the part about my having no idea, even though I didn't know it then. I had not a clue. But I would soon learn how 'hefty' that price truly was.

* ******************CHAPTER END************


	8. Saying Goodbye

CHAPTER SIX

SAYING GOODBYE

As the sun rose over the trees, on the third day since Sam died, I was transfixed on Ashe. The others had long since gone to sleep, simply curling up on the ground and nodding off. But not Ashe. She stayed up, tending the fire, watching it. I hadn't seen her sleep at all. They must have one person stay up to keep watch, but I wondered how long these women could go without sleeping. I also wondered why they didn't have tents or beds. Maybe they travelled so much that it was easier to have less to carry.

I tried to figure out the best way to talk to Ashe. but as I ran all of the possible ways our conversation could turn out, I realized there really was no good ending. She was going to tell me I couldn't go, no matter what I said. I had been trying to work up the nerve to confront her for days, but every time I went to talk to her, she set me to some menial task. Mind numbing activity had filled the last two days. I had only hours to obtain my permission. Sam's funeral would be tomorrow at sunset. It was Quileute tradition.

There was no good way to do this, and if Daedra was going to insist on it, then it might as well get done so that I could begin planning my escape. I was going to that funeral, one way or the other.

I pushed myself up to get to my feet from my sitting position on the ground when I felt a hand on mine. It was Daedra.

"Don't. I know what you intend, and I think it unwise. Please, allow me to ask on your behalf. It might go better than what you have planned." she said. Her words were simple, but somehow I felt like she knew what my true plan really was. I nodded my agreement, and she sat up, smiled at me, and then stood, dusting herself off, and went to Ashe.

"These have been trying times. We have a long road ahead of us. It would be a good thing for Bella to be able to say her goodbyes to her friend today. I will take her." Daedra said. Well that was blunt. I could have done that myself.

Ashe opened her mouth to answer, but T'sikati spoke first. "I do not want her there." she said in a voice so low no human would hear it. She stood up and made a face at me as if I smelled bad.

"I know you don't, T'sikati. My heart hurts for your pain, and I understand your anger. I am not saying that it is not justified. But even you must see that this is about more than your anger, or vengeance." Daedra said. She turned to Ashe. "It will help Bella to have closure so that she can move on."

"Maybe." Ashe said with no real hint of agreement. "But have you considered that being there could push her over the edge?"

Push me over the edge? Was she kidding? I jumped over the edge a while ago, literally and figuratively.

Ashe continued, "Seeing her family and friends mourning the death of the one she herself killed? It is too dangerous, Daedra."

"I'm well aware of what I've done." I muttered.

"What you've done yes, but not the affect it has had." Ashe clarified. "Maybe it will be too much for you. The last thing we need is you losing it and having T'sikati try to put you down." T'sikati smiled at the thought.

"Ashe, have you seen that happen?" Daedra asked, her brow coming together with concern. "Because I have not."

"No, I haven't. But you know that we cannot control the visions, and I don't need to see it to know it's likely." Ashe replied.

"Have you seen anything new?" Daedra asked.

"No. I would have told you if I had. The vision is still the same" Ashe pouted. "You?"

"The same." Daedra confirmed.

I wanted to ask about this vision they had both seemed to have, but I didn't dare interrupt.

"Maybe we should all go." said Anail. "Bella needs closure. We all do. A storm is coming, and we must learn how to find our way through it."

T'sikati growled in frustration. "If you are coming then you will stand far away." she said to no one in particular as she gathered some stones from the ground. "I don't want you near my people."

And with that, we began walking to the reservation for Sam's funeral.

We were about a football field away from the edge of the crowd when we came upon the gathering for Sam's funeral. We had missed the eulogies, but we had made it for the songs. Had I known we would be walking here at a mortal pace, I would have woken everyone sooner. I wasn't exactly sure how fast these women could travel, but excruciatingly slow was not at the top of my list.

I had spent the walk over trying to brace myself for this moment: the moment I would look upon Sam and his people and truly see what I had done. I had expected the ocean of faces in varying degrees of mourning. I had expected the air of grief and pain permeating the crowd.

But what I hadn't expected was the song.

I had learned the Quileute language fluently, but for some reason the songs eluded me. Something about the way they were sung made the words slip through my mental fingers when I tried to grasp them. I had never heard a funeral song before. The Quileutes are a very private people, and no one outside of the tribe was allowed near a place of mourning.

A single voice came up through the crowd, singing words I could not translate. The sound pulled at something inside of me and all of my focus went to that voice. More voices joined in. T'sikati stood, swaying, eyes closed and listening. As she opened her eyes, she seemed drawn to the song. She slowly paced forward toward the crowd. When I too tried to step closer, Daedra stopped me and shook her head.

As T'sikati got closer, I became more nervous that someone would see her, sense her, and we would be exposed. T'sikati must have been shielded because no one paid her any attention.

The voices sang low and out of step with each other. I could hear weeping and breath hitching in chests trying desperately to keep the song. I felt the ragged edge of panic race through me when T'sikati stopped in front of one Quileute in particular who had his head bowed, barely singing. T'sikati put her hand on his shoulder and his head came up. He seemed to be looking her right in the face! He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and began singing louder, stronger.

I watched in wonder as she wove her way through the crowd, touching them all in turn until their voices rose together in a beautiful unity. Some of them stood taller at her touch, some fell to their knees. A few of them wept harder, and some shook so hard I thought they must be having seizures, but they all began to sing louder, their voices melding into a single pulse-like rhythm that penetrated the ground and the air.

Anail raised her hands to the sky, and the air came through and swirled among the tribe, lifting their voices higher, amplifying their sound and their intensity.

That is when I saw Jacob. As the wind crossed Jacob, T'sikati brushed her had across his back and his eyes snapped open and he began looking around frantically. Something had startled him. He was the only one no longer singing, and he was looking in my direction now. Had T'sikati somehow told Jacob I was here? Why would she do that?

Renesmee sensed the change in Jacob, and as the voices rose higher and faster, Jacob began pushing his way through the crowd in my direction with Renesmee, and now Seth too, right behind him.

I took a step back, and even though I tried to tell myself we were shielded and he could not see us, a burning panic raked its way across my mind and through the relative calm provided by the amulet. He was coming.

"He can't know we are here." I whispered. There was no way they could know, but Jacob was headed right for us regardless. The Four stood still, watching Jacob's approach. Even T'sikati was staring at Jacob barreling right for me.

What if they found us? What if they wanted me to go home? I would end up killing everyone.

As I turned and bolted, I heard Ashe let loose a colorful barrage of vocabulary as she gave chase at an annoyed mortal pace. I had to get back to the clearing. It had protections. I would be safe there. I hoped I would be safe there.

"I knew this was a bad idea!" Ashe screamed as she came into the clearing with Daedra and Anail right behind her.

"You're not helping, Ashland!" Daedra snapped as she grabbed my shoulders and tried to get me to focus. "Bella, please, it's okay, you are safe."

My shield did not agree. I could feel it. It was up now, for the first time in a long time, but it was too strong. It was closing in on me, crushing me, mentally and physically. The force of the vibrations in my mind seemed earth shattering, pounding their raging thunder deep down into my core and reaching out into the world around me.

"We have to stop her! She can't break like this." Anail warned.

This is how it ends. My own shield trying to kill me. It seemed fitting if I really thought about it, I mean, I had hurt so many people. Why would I be spared my own wrath?

T'sikati stormed into the clearing as if she was out for blood, but when she saw me, her eyes went wide.

"She's unstable. She needs our help." Daedra said. Ashe, Daedra, and Anail gathered around me. Daedra and Anail held their hands out to T'sikati to close the circle.

She walked forward but did not join hands. She walked past them and right up to me. She got right in my face. I could feel her boiling hot breath on me as she said, "I will do this, but I am not doing it to help you. Final death would be too good for you. Your hell will be here, on Earth, with what you've done. Your punishment will be to watch your world, your people, the ones you love, fall and shatter."

T'sikati stepped back and joined hands with the others. T'sikati began singing in Quileute again. I felt something tugging at my shield. As T'sikati's voice rose higher, the vibrations began to keep time with her chants. I felt like I was being torn apart and put back together all at once. The four women encircling me were standing stiff and on their toes, heads arched back, eyes rolled up in their heads. I couldn't even scream it hurt so bad. What were they going to do to me?

I realized it didn't matter. T'sikati said my hell would be on Earth, but it already was. I had already lost everything. Picturing the looks on everyone's faces when I took Sam's life, I thought, _What's the point?_

As I was about to give into the crushing push and pull in my body and mind, I opened my eyes and there he was, coming out of the trees. Here at the end, at least I would get to see him one last time. I could die with some sort of peace.

But there would be no peace.

"Damn him!" Ashe said with annoyance.

He was real. He was really here. I tried to run toward him, but as I came to where Daedra and Ashe had joined hands, some force kept me from tearing through them and tossed me back like some strange game of supernatural red rover.

"Let me out! I need to talk to him!" I said as I pushed against the force.

"Yeah, 'cause that's gonna happen." Ashe laughed.

I stepped nose to nose with Ashe and hissed, "I will kill you, you crazy bitch."

She smiled and whispered, "Bring it, Swan. I'd love to see you try."

*******************CHAPTER END*************


	9. Standing Ground

CHAPTER SEVEN

STANDING GROUND

God, how I wanted to tear her head off! I might have actually tried, but everything in me came to a screeching halt when I heard Edward scream.

"Bella! Please! I know you are here! Please! I am losing my mind without you! Please come back! Please!" Edward screamed into the trees.

"He knows I'm here." I said to Ashe.

"No he doesn't, Bella. Our shields keep him from any knowledge that we are here. They block all powers and senses." Ashe said dismissively.

I don't know how, but I felt like she was wrong. Unable to control the shield blocking Edward from seeing me, I called out to Edward with my mind as hard as I could.

"What are you doing?" Ashe laughed.

"If you are right, and he can't hear me, then what does it matter?" I said. I concentrated on Edward, screaming to him with every fiber of my being. His screaming halted and he looked around, disoriented.

"Bella? Bella! I can hear you! Talk to me! Where are you?!" he said frantically.

"It's not possible." whispered Ashe.

"Our roots may be in a dysfunctional teenaged relationship by your standards, but we love each other, more than you could ever know, Ashe. Nothing can keep us apart for long." I said. I stepped toward him but hit the invisible wall again.

Edward turned to where we stood, looking through us, and began to walk forward. "Bella? Talk to me Bella. Where are you?" he whispered as he stood less than a foot from me. He was a mess; disheveled and tattered.

"Ashe, please. Look at him. Let me talk to him. Just let me tell him that I'm okay. If anything happens to him because of me, because of this, I will never forgive myself, and your time will have been wasted. Just let me speak to him." I begged. Before Ashe could answer, Edward spoke again.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't help you. I am sorry that you lost your parents. I'm sorry for everything. A part of me wants to say that I am sorry that we ever met. I'm sorry I came into your life and tore you away from the people you love by making you what I am. I want to say that, and yet I can't, because ultimately I am not sorry for that." I felt the chaos in me roar again at his words. He gasped and looked around with eyes that seemed to not be seeing anything.

"I would do it all again tenfold to have you by my side. Maybe that makes me crazy. I'm pretty sure it makes me an awful person. After all of this time, and everything I've done, it would be hard to argue to the contrary. But I want you to know that whether I am awful, or I've lost my mind, I love you. I will never stop loving you. You are strong. I know you are hurting now, but you will endure. We will endure. We will be together again." He groaned and fell to the ground staring up at the sky, exhausted and broken.

I looked to Ashe and something in Edward's words combined with my expression must have struck her because she sighed in frustration, released her grip on Daedra's hand, then said, "Very well, you may speak to him, briefly. But this will be the only time unless you learn to control yourself. Are we clear?" Ashe said.

"Crystal." I said.

They all stepped back and I could feel Ashe release the shield around me. Even if I hadn't felt it, Edward's face would have been confirmation enough. I wanted to throw my arms around him. I wanted to comfort him and take away his pain. But when his eyes met mine, I recalled the last time I had seen him, with Sam's heart in my hand and his body lifeless at my feet. And then I remembered how we got there; because my shield was hurting him and the others. I couldn't control it. Knowing this, I stepped back from him.

Edward stepped forward, and when I backed away again he cried, "Bella! Are you okay? What happened? Why are you with that woman?"

I hadn't realized that Ashe had revealed herself as well. She left the others shielded.

"She is not okay, Edward. She needs my help. Help that you are ill-equipped to provide." Ashe said.

"You did this! Who are you? What do you want with Bella?" Edward demanded as he stepped forward to confront Ashe.

"No." Ashe said, holding up her hand. Edward stopped immediately and seemed surprised that he was doing so. "You cannot help her now."

"I don't understand." Edward said, shifting confused glances between me and Ashe.

"I am broken, Edward. I don't even know how to describe it." I said quietly.

He looked at me as if he was seeing me for the first time. He looked as if he wanted to reach out, but thought better of it at the last moment.

"You don't have to describe it. I can hear it." Edward said. I was mortified at the thought of what Edward was seeing in my head, but at least Ashe's charm had calmed it. Edward had no clue how bad it really was, and for the first time I was thankful since all of this began.

"As long as she is in this condition, she is a danger to herself and to others." Ashe added.

"Please, Edward, I don't want to hurt you." I pleaded. "I will be okay, but you have to go."

"Bella, I know we started this all wrong. Everything, from day one. We were foolish children, both of us in our own ways. I know we have made mistakes and hurt each other, and for that I am sorry. I'm sorry I could not control myself. I'm sorry I never realized how crazy I was. I'm sorry that I let what I am manipulate you into this life. I'm sorry that I didn't know how to help you when you lost your parents. I am sorry that I ever doubted you. And I am so very sorry that it has come to this." Edward lamented.

His expression changed, and he glared at Ashe. "But what I am not sorry for is loving you. I will not apologize for coming for you. I will never apologize for fighting for you. I love you more than anything in this world. I would cease to exist for you if I had to." He shifted his gaze back to me and his features softened.

"However, one thing I will not do again is stand in the way of you finding your own way. I think we have proven time and again that I cannot help you. I can love you, but I cannot fix you. Just as you cannot fix me. It doesn't work that way, and we need to stop fooling ourselves that it does. No amount of love will make it work that way. You have to find your own path and I have to find mine. Let us hope that those paths find each other again. I love you." he said.

"I love you too, Edward." I managed to say. Edward made a move to comfort me, and Ashe stepped in front of me, blocking Edward.

The two of them stared at each other. I wasn't sure if they were speaking from their minds or if they were just glaring, but eventually Edward looked down at me, nodded, and then left without another word.

"What was that?" I asked.

"None of your concern at the moment." Ashe said as the shield went up around us again. If Edward came back to the clearing, it would be as if we had vanished.

"What did you say to him that made him so upset?" I demanded.

"I told him what he needed to hear." Ashe dismissed. "Now come along. We have work to do."

*******************CHAPTER END*************


End file.
